Taboo

Keywords: Ch., All, 03, Wanted, She, Ever,

And how relieved he was to see Daniel beginning to recover.

Concurrently she found herself opening up with Walter. Being friends with a man was almost like having a new toy and she itched to play with it every chance she could. And, like Daniel, Walter was safe. He wasn't going to push for anything physical.

The first time had caught her by surprise. She'd gone to visit Cynthia on a Sunday afternoon in early October and they'd talked for a couple of hours, sitting in the kitchen over coffee while the two children played in the next room. She was aware that Walter was home but hadn't seen him. Then, the coffee having reached the point where nature started calling, she excused herself and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. Along the way she passed Walter's little office. The door was open and he was sitting at his computer with his back to her.

"Hi," she said as she went by. He raised his hand in greeting.

On her way back she stopped and looked in. "Whatcha doing?"

"Hi Melissa," he said, swivelling his chair around. "Just doing some research on some of the mutual funds we've invested in. Gets kind of boring after awhile. How are you doing? How's Daniel?"

"Daniel's fine. I talked with him Friday. I'm fine too." There was a long moment of silence during which they gazed at each other with unfocused smiles. Before this she would have said 'well, so long' and returned to the kitchen. But remembering what Cynthia had said a month ago about Walter thinking highly of her she decided to reach out for something more. It took her a minute to work up the courage.

"Walter, do you have many women friends... besides Cynthia?" She asked.

His smile was suddenly full and warm. She had the feeling that he and Cynthia had discussed her problems with men. It made her feel exposed and cared for at the same time.

"Come in Melissa, have a seat," he said, gesturing toward a chair against the wall. "Yes, a couple of the women I work with. I wouldn't say we're real close but I do consider them to be friends. We can talk about most things."

"So you feel it's possible for men and women to be just friends?" She asked as she sat down.

"Oh, I don't know about 'just' friends. Friendship is important," he said. "Plus I've discovered with Cynthia that a man and a woman can be involved on all the other levels and still be friends. It seems to me that it's a matter of developing trust and learning to be open with each other. Which isn't always easy. So yeah, I think it's possible."

"You know, I'm thirty-six and Daniel is the first man in my life I think of as a friend. Besides you. But you and I never really talked before." She felt more than a little flustered bringing up the last part but Walter seemed unfazed.

"I've always liked you Melissa," he said with a gentle smile. "But for most of the time I've known you I've felt that there was a wall between us. I didn't know why. I still don't. I have the impression, though, that your experience with men has taught you not to trust them."

Her hands were tightly clasped together, pressing into her closed thighs. It was strange for her to realize that while the subject of the conversation was disturbing to her she felt comfortable with Walter. "Until I met you I didn't even know men like you existed," she said softly.

"And he's not the only one," a voice said from the doorway. She looked up to find Cynthia smiling at her. "I suspect that because all you expected to find were the kind of men you were familiar with you couldn't even see the ones who were different. I can't tell you how happy I am to see that changing."

"Could we talk about something else?" Melissa asked. "I think I've been psychoanalyzed enough for one day."

"Sure," Walter said with a grin. "Whatever you want to talk about. But why don't we adjourn to the kitchen where we can all have a seat. I could use a cup of coffee myself."

The three of them had discussed a variety of topics into the early evening. By the time she left Melissa felt certain that this conversation was only the first of many.

Keywords: Ch., All, 03, Wanted, She, Ever,